Double Chocolate Cake

 On any given no-good day, I’d just about kill for a wedge of Bruce Bogtrotter double chocolate cake—that is, as imagined in my head while reading Matilda as opposed to the awfully glassy and ganache’d version depicted in the movie adaptation. Tall as hell, thick, insanely tender, piled upon by a too-rich frosting, chockablock with ropes of filling, too big for my plate, nearly impossible without a glass of milk—that’s my ideal cake, and it always has been. Upon realizing that I know of nowhere a person might procure a slice of such a cake, and being a woman of much time and butter, I went ahead and made a dream cake for myself after a particularly shitty day last week. And this is it, my dudes. As described, and frosted with the back of a spoon that doubled as a snack stick, which is a method for frosting that I especially recommend if you’re into eating your feelings. (Duh!) Mood cake. Celebration cake. Bruce Bogtrotter childhood dream cake. Whatever your frame of reference, this is the way to enjoy a chocolate cake, and I can’t recommend it enough if you’re seeking to soothe your inner shenanigans or just looking for an old reliable that will make your fellow potluckers swoon.  

  

Chocolate Cake

Yield: Two or three nine-inch layers, depending on your thickness preference

Serves: One, if you’re Bruce Bogtrotter, or about 16 if you’re not.

3 ounces dark or semisweet chocolate, chopped
1 ½ cups hot brewed coffee
2 ¾ cups granulated sugar
2 ½ cups all-purpose flour
1 ½ cups unsweetened cocoa powder
2 teaspoons baking soda
¾ teaspoon baking powder
1 ¼ teaspoons fine-grain sea salt
3 large eggs
¾ cup vegetable oil
1 ½ cups shaken buttermilk
¾ teaspoon vanilla extract

1.  Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Butter two or three nine-inch pans. My oven only has room for two layers at a time, so I make thick layers with an extra thick center filling, but this recipe yields enough for three layers if you prefer! Line bottoms with rounds of parchment paper and butter the paper.

2.  Finely chop chocolate and combine with hot coffee in a bowl. Let stand, stirring occasionally, until chocolate is melted and mixture is smooth.

3.  Into a large bowl, sift together sugar, flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, beat eggs on medium until thickened slightly and lemon colored, about three minutes. Slowly add oil, buttermilk, vanilla, and melted chocolate mixture to eggs, beating until combined well. Add sugar mixture and mix on medium speed until just combined; finish stirring by hand.

4.   Divide batter evenly between pans and bake in middle of oven until a tester inserted in center comes out clean, 35 to 45 minutes. Allow layers to cool in pans for ten minutes before unmolding; cool completely before frosting.

Chocolate Swiss Meringue Buttercream
Adapted from Apt. 2B Baking Co.

Yield: enough for one cake!

For the ganache
18 ounces dark chocolate, chopped
1 ½ cups heavy cream (I used coconut creamer, actually—to fine success and deliciousness!)
1 tablespoon super finely ground coffee

½ teaspoon fine-grain sea salt

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

For the meringue buttercream
5 egg whites
1 ¼ cups granulated sugar
1 pound butter, room temperature, cut into tablespoons
Pinch salt
1 tablespoon vanilla extract

1. Make the ganache: Combine chocolate, coffee, and salt in a medium bowl. Heat cream or creamer until steaming, and pour over the chocolate mixture. Let stand for five minutes; whisk thoroughly until the mixture is homogenized, then add the vanilla and whisk again. Let cool to room temperature—sped up by brief stints in the fridge—but do not let harden.

2. Make the buttercream:   In the bowl of a stand mixer, combine the egg whites and sugar. Set the bowl over a pan of simmering water and whisk continuously until the sugar has dissolved and the mixture is warm to the touch, five to seven minutes.

3. Using the whisk attachment, beat the egg white mixture until stiff, glossy peaks form, and the mixture has cooled to room temperature, about ten minutes; be sure that it’s really room temperature lest the butter melt into the egg whites.

4. Switch to the paddle attachment, reduce the speed to low, add the salt then add butter a few tablespoons at a time, and beat the frosting until smooth. You may find that your frosting breaks at this point. Just turn the speed up on your mixer and it should all come back together. Mix until all the butter is incorporated and frosting is smooth; add vanilla.

5. Add chocolate: Whip temperature ganache into the Swiss buttercream until no lumps remain. The finished buttercream should be glossy, smooth, and fluffy. If yours is too thin, pop it in the fridge for 30 minutes before filling and frosting your cake.

California Winter Cake—White Chocolate + Grapefruit

California was a treat, my dudes. Comprised of the usual spate of woodworking, welding, and face-stuffing with tacos, it was a completely undeserved and welcome respite from Baltimore’s too-long winter. Obviously there were gobs of citrus too, and after a long while spent pining for the lemon cream that Yossy loves, I went grapefruit on it and figured it was cake-worthy. The results totally ruled, and little needs to be said about this excellent thing, except perhaps that it was born of a winter vacation to a summery place—and it shows. A standard white cake recipe from the best baking dudes, sandwiched with a perfectly bitter, citrusy cream, dressed in a white chocolate ermine frosting that might supersede all previous frosting allegiances, and topped with my favorite roasted white chocolate garnish. Make it if you’re seeking celebration or a big fat slice of end-of-winter Hell-Yes. 

For cake layers

Cake and frosting adapted from Baked: New Frontiers in Baking

Yield: Three 7- or 8-inch cake layers

2 1/2 cups of cake flour

3/4 cup all-purpose flour

1 tablespoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

3/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup (8 tablespoons) unsalted butter, softened

1/2 cup vegetable shortening

1 3/4 cups sugar

1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract

1 large egg

1 1/2 cups ice cold water

3 large egg whites, at room temperature

1/4 teaspoon cream of tartar

1.  Preheat the over the 325 degrees F. Butter and flour three 7- or 8-inch round cake pans with removable bottoms. Sift the flours, baking powder, baking soda, and salt together in a large bowl. Set aside.

2.  In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, beat the butter and shortening on medium speed until creamy, three to four minutes. Add the sugar, and beat on medium speed until fluffy, about three minutes. Scrape down the bowl, add the vanilla and whole egg, and beat until just combined. Turn the mixer to low. Add the flour mixture, alternating with the ice water, in three separate additions, beginning and ending with the flour mixture. Scrape down the bowl, then mix on low speed for a few more seconds.

3.  In a medium bowl, whisk the egg whites and cream of tartar until soft peaks form. Do not overbeat. Gently fold the egg whites into the batter. Divide the batter among the prepared pans and smooth the tops. Bake for 40 to 45 minutes, rotating the pans halfway through, until a toothpick inserted in the center of the cake comes out clean. Transfer the cakes to a wire rack and let cool for ten minutes, then carefully remove cakes from pans and let cool completely. Remove the parchment.

4.  A tip for assembly: Have frosting and filling prepared when ready to assemble cake. The most important part of the whole she-bang? Pipe a generous, tall border of frosting around the edges of each layer, and fill the well with about a half-cup of grapefruit cream. The border will keep the cream from sandwiching out between the layers.

For white chocolate ermine frosting

6 ounces white chocolate, coarsely chopped

1 1/2 cups sugar

1/3 cup all-purpose flour

1 1/2 cups milk

1/3 cup heavy cream

1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) unsalted butter, soft but cool, cut into small pieces

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

1.  Using either a double boiler or a microwave, melt the white chocolate and set it aside to cool.

2.  In a medium heavy-bottom saucepan, whisk the sugar and flour together. Add the milk and cream to cook over high heat, whisking constantly, until the mixture comes to a boil. Allow to boil for one minute, whisking quickly the whole time and being very careful not to scorch; all told this takes about ten minutes.

3.  Transfer the mixture to the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Beat on high speed until cool; the goal is to have the mixture be cool enough to emulsify rather than melt the butter. Reduce the speed to medium and add the butter; mix until thoroughly incorporated. Increase the speed to medium-high and beat until the frosting is light and fluffy.

Add the vanilla and white chocolate and continue mixing until combined; it should thicken immediately. Use right away or, if frosting is too thin, thicken it up in the fridge for 20 to 30 minutes until it reaches desired consistency.

For the grapefruit cream filling

Adapted from Tartine Bakery, via Food52

Yield: 2 ½ cups, about twice what you'll need for a cake

1 cup grapefruit juice, reduced to ½ cup  

2 tablespoons lemon juice

3 large eggs

1 large egg yolk

6 tablespoons granulated sugar

Pinch salt

12 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into tablespoon pieces

1. Pour water to a depth of about 2 inches into a saucepan, place over medium heat, and bring to a simmer. Combine the juice, whole eggs, yolk, sugar, and salt in a stainless steel bowl that will rest securely in the rim of a saucepan over, not touching, the water. (Never let the egg yolks and sugar sit together for more than a moment without stirring; the sugar will cure the yolks and turn them granular.)

2.  Place the bowl over the saucepan and continue to whisk until the mixture becomes very thick and registers 180 degrees F on a thermometer—ten to 12 minutes. Remove the bowl from over the water and let cool to 140 degrees F, stirring from time to time to release the heat.

3.  When the base is cool, pour it into a countertop blender. With the blender running, add the butter one tablespoon at a time, blending after each addition until incorporated before adding the next piece. The cream will be pale yellow and thick. It can be used immediately, but I had better results letting it thicken up in the fridge more. The cream will keep covered in the fridge for five days; do not store in a metal bowl.