Kale Rebellion: Double Chocolate Rads

Well I have certainly been having an embarrassing time at the grocery store lately. Last week after leaving the gym, I stopped at my neighborhood grocery store (understocked and overpriced as is the DC way) and pranced around the baking and dairy aisles looking for ingredients for one set of cookies and anticipating ingredients for the next. I ended up at the checkout aisle behind another young woman who had also just left the gym and who had actually been walking in front of me and down most of the same aisles during my ingredient-finding endeavor. The difference was that somehow her basket was filled with produce, dried fruits, nuts, whole grain everything, and enough plain yogurt to make this creamy-grits-wielding, yogurt-scoffing baker feel ashamed of her chocolate cache.

My tiny kitchen (employed by six people) makes multi-tasking a necessity.

Behind my fellow gym-goer’s sort of beautiful and rather inspiring lode of healthy food, I plunked down four pounds of butter, two pounds of bittersweet chocolate, two bags of semi-sweet chips, some heavy cream, all-purpose flour, and a head of purple cabbage to confuse anyone who might have been wondering what sort of flagrant disregard for diabetes and cholesterol I have. My gym pal eyed my soon-to-be-purchases and assessed my gym outfit and my flushed cheeks before I asked her save my place in line while I ran 15 feet to the produce section. I returned triumphantly with a bunch of kale, which I laid conspicuously atop my butter, leaving that gym-going girl to wonder bemusedly what sort of diet I must be playing at. In any case, this was neither the first nor last time I have left a grocery store feeling rather shamed, but it is the first time that I felt pressure to buy kale to make up for it.

See how airy the batter is? Those bubbles signify ungodly delicious things.

Well, I guess I was hoping that the kale would be some sort of talisman to ward off my bad habits and sugar binges, but that forgotten green bundle sat around in my vegetable crisper until it wilted. Apparently, I had bigger, sweeter things to worry about. I don’t want to get into the habit of proclaiming “favorites” and “bests” on this blog because I don’t want to have to stop baking at recipe number 10 and admit that I don’t have anything amazing left to make. With a resounding however, however, I have to say that that chocolate cookies that resulted from my shaming shopping experience were the singly most delicious cookies I have had in years. I might insert my big foot into my big mouth later this month when I take a stab at the famous World Peace Cookies, but until then, I have to assert that these Chocolate Rads are, quite simply, tops. My sweets-loathing friend referred to them as “incredible,” and they made my CFO stop mid-sentence and mid-bite to utter a mild expletive and turn really far-away-eyed and quiet.

Like the crackled crust of the pound cake, these crinkled tops were nearly impossible not to detach and eat alone.

This reminds me that I have been very content to cook on Sundays these days since I can foist my leftover baked goods upon unsuspecting, Monday-bummed coworkers. Last Sunday was no exception. After a baby mouse (not as cute as he sounds) made a throne atop my Sunday-afternoon oatmeal cookies (which I promptly threw into the trash), I decided to double-do my Sunday and go for the Chocolate Rads I’d been drooling over on Orangette for weeks. Well, their crispy crust is reminiscent of pecan crackles and other cookies that rely on egg whites, but this recipe relies on chocolate. The batter is so fluffy, yielding, and rich, it has the texture of softened rocky road ice cream without the nuts. A brief round in the fridge makes the batter workable before you drop it by hearty scoopfulls onto baking sheets and let the oven do its alchemy. Actually, before the melted chocolate is added, the batter has an airy texture not dissimilar from fresh meringue. In any case, these cookies are delicious and dangerous, and even though I accidentally left them at home Monday, they held up perfectly in the designated cookie tupperware until Tuesday, and my coworkers appreciated the crinkly shell and gooey interior just as much as I had on Sunday night.

I make no excuses. Four of these composed my Monday-morning breakfast.

So even though my Thursday night ended in post-gym sheepishness, my weekend was without kale and my Sunday culminated a chocolate bliss that was a subtly and just-so rebellious way to ring in a new workweek. When kale is unthinkable, I'd rather rejoice with cookies than sulk with a carrot, so enjoy! Again, coffee is the perfect accompaniment, and if you're a fruity type like my mother, a swath of good cherry jam might be the perfect breakfast accessory.

I love how distinct the skyline of the chocolate-y shell is in this picture. The insides gush with chips and a soft center that contrasts satisfyingly with the cookie's crackled outsides.

Chocolate Rads
Adapted from Bon Appétit and via Orangette

1 pound bittersweet chocolate, chopped (I used Ghiaradelli)
1 ¾ cups granulated sugar
4 large eggs
4 Tbs unsalted butter, melted and cooled slightly
1 Tbs pure vanilla extract
1 tsp instant espresso
½ cup cake flour (I used all-purpose, and it worked fine, but the original calls for cake)
1 tsp baking powder
¼ tsp salt
2 cups (about one bag) good-quality semisweet chocolate chips (I used Guittard)

1. Melt the bittersweet chocolate in a double-boiler or metal bowl set over gently simmering water. Stir until smooth, then remove from heat, and set aside.

2. In a large bowl, combine the sugar and eggs, and beat with an electric mixer until thick and pale yellow and somewhat fluffy, about three to five minutes. Add the melted chocolate, melted butter, vanilla extract, and espresso powder, and beat to mix thoroughly.

3. Sift the flour, baking powder, and salt into small bowl. Add the dry ingredients to the chocolate mixture, and stir with a rubber spatula to just combine. (The batter will be sticky and hard to work with, but it's okay!) Stir in chocolate chips. Place the bowl in the refrigerator, and chill until the batter is firm, for about 30 minutes.

4. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Either lightly butter and flour two large cookie sheets or, better yet, line them with parchment paper. Drop the batter by large scoops – I used an ice cream scoop and a big spoon, both at about two tablespoons each – onto sheets, leaving about two inches of space around each mound of dough. With moist fingertips, press down on each ball to flatten it slightly. Bake the cookies until tops look dry and crackled, about 11-13 minutes. Do not overbake. Transfer the cookies on the parchment paper to a wire rack, and allow to cool completely. Repeat with remaining dough, remembering to keep the dough in the fridge between each set of cookies. Remove finished cookies from the parchment paper, and store them in airtight container.

Note: I froze a portion of these cookies for my housemates, and they were delicious once restored to room temperature, and even a little delicious still frozen. They hold up wonderfully to a frozen wait!