Aunt Sassy (Pistachio) Cake with Honey Vanilla Buttercream

Sometimes it feels irrelevant to write a baking blog. I always wonder whether this is not the totally wrong forum for me to write about being distraught with the government, or forlorn that Joey is moving to Vermont, or sad about my job, which forever bites the big one. Those things are all true, but then there is this glorious, delicious cake and the trouble of connecting it to Jon Kyl’s fake facts, Obama’s squirmy backbone, or the utter weirdness of an impending long-distance relationship; it’s so much smoother to connect baked goods to weekends and perpetual good times. Maybe I ought to thank my luck for the latitude afforded by the jokey truism that a blog-writer’s biggest audience is herself.

Joey's hand action shot! They can't all be winners.

So the government stinks tremendously, Joey is leaving, and my job is an endless bummer, but this cake is like eating airy, pistachio angel food cake swathed in magic frosting that rights ills and boosts moods! I made it for Ruben and Joaquin’s full-of-love engagement party, and initially I felt ill-equipped to describe how super good it is (the recipe gets all the credit!), and then my Alice Medrich cookie rampage clouded my cake-blogging motivations. But this cake—every bit as delicious as the ingredients tell you—is much, much easier to make than it seems and totally relevant to whatever is going on in your life, be it wishing some smarts into the government of celebrating the wonderful folks in your life.

Aunt Sassy Cake with Honey Buttercream

Adapted (barely) from Baked Explorations

I don't own any 8-inch cake pans so I attempted to proportion this recipe to fit my 6-inch cake pans instead. Using this awesome website, I learned I'd have to make 60% of the original recipe to do so, but I can't do that kind of math so I stuck to the original proportions but used my small pans and made six cupcakes with the leftover batter. It actually turned out great because the layers were towering and there were cupcakes for sampling. Also, this is a long recipe, but it's uncomplicated and totally worth the labor.

Pistachio Cake

1 cup shelled, unsalted pistachios (plus more for garnish, below)

2 1/2 cups cake flour

3/4 cups all-purpose flour

1 tablespoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

3/4 teaspoon salt 

1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened

1/2 cup vegetable shortening (I used Spectrum brand)

1 3/4 cups granulated sugar

1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract

1 large egg

1 1/2 cups ice water

3 large egg whites, at room temperature

1/4 tsp. cream of tartar

Honey Vanilla Buttercream

1 1/2 cups granulated sugar

1/3 cup all-purpose flour

1 1/2 cups whole milk

1/3 cup heavy cream

1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) unsalted butter, soft but not warm, cut into small pieces

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

3 tablespoons honey

Garnish

1/2 cup pistachios

1 tablespoon sugar

Make the Cake Layers

1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. Butter three 8-inch (I used 6-inch) round cake pans, line them with parchment, butter the parchment, flour it too, and tap out the excess flour. (F'real. My layers did not stick at all, so I'm not about to tell you that this step is overkill.)

2.  In the bowl of a food processor, process just one cup of the pistachios until they are coarsely chopped. Transfer two tablespoons of the nuts to a large bowl, and then process the rest into a powder, but not a dust. Stir the pistachio powder into the large bowl with the coarse nuts. Sift the flours, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in the large bowl. Dump anything left in the sifter into the bowl; stir.

3.  In a large bowl, beat the butter and shortening on medium until creamy, three to four minutes. Add the sugar and vanilla and beat about three more minutes until fluffy. Add the egg and beat until just combined. Turn your egg beater or mixer on low, and add the flour mixture to the bowl in three parts, alternating with the ice water, and beginning and ending with the flour. The mixer should be on low for each addition, and flip it to medium for a few seconds until ingredients are incorporated; scrape bowl before each new addition.

4.  In a medium bowl, beat the egg whites and cream of tartar on low until soft peaks form, but don't overwhip; gently fold whites into the batter using a rubber spatula. Divide the batter among the prepared pans and smooth the tops. Bake for 40 to 45 minutes (my six-inch pans still took 40) until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. Let cakes cool in their pans for 20 minutes before removing them; allow to cool completely and then remove the parchment paper. At this point, I triple-wrapped my layers in plastic wrap for froze them for two days, which I've been led to believe makes frosting delicate cake layers terrifically easy. 

Make the Frosting

1.  In a medium saucepan, whisk the sugar and flour together. Add the milk and cream and cook over medium heat (I cooked on low because I have a gas range), whisking occasionally until the mixture comes to a boil and thickens, ten to 15 minutes.

2.  Transfer the mixture to a cold bowl and beat with a mixer on high speed until cool, about seven to nine minutes. Press some bags of frozen berries to the sides of the bowl to speed up the process. Reduce the speed to low and add the butter, mixing all the way. Increase the speed to medium-high and beat until frosting is light and fluffy, about two minutes.

3.  Add the vanilla and honey and continue mixing to combine. If the frosting is too soft, put the bowl in the fridge to chill, then beat it again until it's the right consistency. (I had to put mine in the fridge for 20 minutes.)

Assemble the Cake

1.  Crush the remaining 1/2 cup pistachios with 1 tablespoon of sugar in your food processor; don't go too fine.

2.  Level the tops of your cake layers (easier if they're frozen). Place on on your plate, and smooth 1 1/4 cups frosting on top. Add the next leveled layer and the same amount of frosting, then the third layer. Spread a very thin layer over the top and sides and put in the fridge for 15 minutes if you can (this is the crumb coat and helps tamp down loose crumbs), then spread the rest of the frosting on. Garnish the cake with the crushed pistachios, and refrigerate for 15 minutes to firm up. The cookbook recommends letting the cake come to room temperature for two hours before serving; I think we did incidentally, but it's not so fussy of a cake that you have to. Keeps for three days in a cake saver at room temperature.

Honey-Caramel Peach Pie

Served alongside homemade buterscotch pudding

This is the biggest jerk post, what with it being October first and all. Especially if you’re into eating seasonally and locally, you’re probably hungrily eyeing those peaches you canned in August instead of considering fresh peach pie. We’ll have crummy peaches all autumn here in DC, but if you think about it, well, I am from California, which means I can eat California peaches all year long with diplomatic immunity to food-consciousness since those peaches are still local to my upbringing. That’s how it works, right?

Cold, cold butter and hand-mixing with forks are the tricks to crusts that flake like biscuits

Well, good, because this is the most stupendous peach pie I have ever had the absolute pleasure of baking and inhaling. Oh yes. We even used the crummiest possible peaches from Maine—they were mealy, bruised, and either hard as rocks or smooshy soft—but the baking neutralized the unsavory textures and the honey cloaked the bitter bits in a thick, sweet caramel layer. Summer? Who needs summer when you can lie to yourself about being food-conscious year-round!

Honey-Caramel Peach Pie
Adapted from Gourmet, which is also where I obtained that excellent butterscotch pudding recipe

3 lbs. ripe peaches
2 tablespoons corn starch
1 1/2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup + 1 tablespoon granulated sugar, divided
1/4 cup mild honey
2 tablespoons water
3 tablespoons unsalted butter
All-butter pastry dough
1 tablespoon whole milk

1. Cut an X in bottom of each peach, then blanch peaches in batches in boiling water for 15 seconds. Transfer with a slotted spoon to an ice bath to stop cooking. Peel peaches and cut into 1-inch-thick wedges.

2. Toss peaches well with cornstarch, flour, lemon juice, cinnamon, and salt in a large bowl.

Put a foil-lined large baking sheet in lower third of oven and preheat oven to 425°F.

3. Bring 1/2 cup sugar, honey, and water to a boil in a 1 1/2- to 2-quart heavy saucepan over medium-high heat, stirring until sugar has dissolved, then wash down any sugar crystals from side of pan with a pastry brush dipped in cold water. Boil without stirring, swirling pan occasionally so caramel colors evenly, until dark amber, about five minutes.

4. Remove from heat and add butter, swirling pan until butter is melted. Pour over fruit and toss (caramel will harden slightly but will melt in oven).

5. Roll out 1 piece of dough (keep remaining piece chilled) into a 13-inch round on a lightly floured surface with a lightly floured rolling pin. Fit into a 9-inch pie plate. Trim excess dough, leaving a 1/2-inch overhang. Chill shell while rolling out remaining dough.

Roll out remaining piece of dough into an 11-inch round on a lightly floured surface with a lightly floured rolling pin.

6. Transfer filling to pie shell, mounding it. Cover pie with pastry round. Trim with kitchen shears, leaving a 1/2-inch overhang. Press edges together, then crimp decoratively. Brush top all over with some of milk, then sprinkle with remaining tablespoon sugar. Cut steam vents in top crust with a paring knife, and use your extra crust to cut out shapes for your loved one (e.g. ponies for Dad, hearts for Joey).

7. Bake pie on hot foil-lined sheet for 20 minutes, then reduce oven temperature to 375°F. Continue to bake until crust is golden-brown and filling is bubbling, about 50 minutes more. Cool pie to room temperature, three to four hours, or eat it 15 minutes later like we did.

Sugar Cookies with Royal Icing and Deformity

When life hands you a sticky-ass and stubborn dough, then go to town with a sticky-ass icing and your new pastry bag. This has been the second week in a row that some sort of anarchical breeze in the air has totally upended my recipe plans, but despite their challenged appearance, these cookies are super good. The challengedness may even add to their charm. This was supposed to be a fleet of elephant- and anchor-shaped cookies that was about one-half less Fail, but the dough was a huge pain in the culo to work with, hence the easy-peasy circles.

A bag of icing and the temptation to get perverted on a blank cookie canvas can be a little pressing for those of us with a sixth-grade maturity level, but (advice) I found that images did not come out as well as designs. The splatted arachnid is maybe my favorite example of a perverted drawing gone wrong (hint: the sticky-ass icing matched my totally ass mood at the time). And if you happen to be a cake decorator or have any sort of icing prowess, shoot me an email and let’s talk about bartering baked goods for decorating skills, yes?

Legend: dots, sweet tooth, HUD logo, dotted elephant, effed up tic-tac-toe board, a splatted arachnid, fetus-elephant, more dots, phallic stripe, dots, and more dots, a bicycle!, deformed scissors/four tennis rackets

Oh hey man, your bike has some sweet geometry.

Classic Sugar Cookies
Adapted from Baked! New Frontiers in Baking

1 ¾ cup all-purpose four
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon baking power
¾ cups (1 ½ sticks) unsalted butter, softened
2 Tablespoons cold vegetable shortening (Spectrum brand makes non-hydrogenated)
2/3 cup sugar
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla

1. In a medium bowl whisk the flour, salt, and baking powder. Set aside. In a large bowl, beat the butter, shortening, and sugar until light and fluffy (about 3 minutes). Add the egg and vanilla and beat until just combined. Add the flour mixture, an mix gently until incorporated. Wrap the dough in plastic and refrigerate for at least 4 hours. (No joke, don’t skimp on this. This dough is a bastard to work with—the firmer the better.)

2. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F, and line two baking sheets with parchment. Dust work surface with flour (I found that I had to lay that flour on thick), unwrap dough and plunk it down. Roll out to ¼ inch thick. Dip your cookie cutter in flour, and use it to cut shapes out. Save the excess dough (from the outlines of the shapes), refrigerate again for about 20 minutes, roll out and go for it again. Bake the cookies for 12 minutes until they are set, but not browned (mine were fine brown). Let sit for 5 minutes before transferring to a rack to cool completely.

Royal Icing

2 cups confectioners’ sugar, sifted
2 large egg whites
2 teaspoons freshly squeezed lemon juice

1. In a large bowl, whisk together the sugar, egg whites, and lemon juice until the mixture is completely mooth. It should be the texture of glaze, so add more sugar if it’s too thin, or more lemon juice if it’s too thick. I found that I had to add a lot more sugar. If you want to dye some of the frosting for accents, just divide it into the corresponding number of bowls and dye away.

2. A great way to decorate these is to use a small tip on your pastry bag, though as you can see, having a small tip doesn’t automatically give you artistic license. Just outline the shape you want, fill it in, and hope real hard that it doesn't run everywhere and ruin your vision like what happened to my cookies.