Best Sugar Cookies + Tooth and Nail Craft Fair

I am seriously relieved to learn that sugar cookies go really well with beer.  All this time I spent bemoaning (and well, celebrating too) the cold and the winter, and suddenly spring is here and it's warm as hell, and I didn't think I'd ever want to put anything sweet in my mouth ever again.  Okay yeah, the future tastes like summery pies and the Californian in me is practically throwing a tantrum for stone fruit tarts, but sweet sweets have been another story.  Then I came across this recipe that yields the most perfectly shortbready sugar cookie of all time, and while I sprinkled pepper on some, herbs on others, and topped a few with ground coffee, all variations went equally well with my spring beer of choice, which is most excellent because I can't imagine a day without a baked good or a spring day without a beer.

Well, and part of the reason I was feeling anti-supersweet is because I've been occupied with testing recipes over and over again for the past three weeks as preparation for selling baked goods at a craft fair. Hooray! DC's Bored of Trade arts collective threw the Tooth and Nail Craft Fair at the Velvet Lounge on Saturday, and it brought together all kinds of vendors, from Treasury Vintage and Smash Records to a DC comics collective and the makers of instruments crafted from salvaged wood and toys.  Cookies out of a suitcase and tartlets out of a library card catalogue, and the super supportive crowd still ate up all 107 of my baked goods.  It was an honor and a pleasure, and next time there will be sugar cookies too.

Lindsay Shere's Sugar Cookies

Adapted from Sunday Suppers at Lucques

2 sticks unsalted butter, softened

3/4 cup granulated white sugar, plus a little extra for rolling

1 extra-large egg yolk

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

2 cups all-purpose flour

1/4 teaspoon kosher salt

Fresh rosemary, cracked black pepper, finely ground coffee, or other toppings of your choice

1.  In a large bowl, cream the butter at high speed, about one minute.  Add the sugar and beat three to four minutes longer at medium-high speed until light and fluffy.

2.  Add the egg yolk and vanilla and beat a few more minutes, until light and fluffy again.  Slowly add the flour and salt, and mix at a low speed until the dough (thick by this point) comes together.  Shape the dough into two logs about 11/2 inches in diameter, roll the logs in sugar, then wrap each in plastic and refrigerate until firm.

3.  Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.  Once the dough is firm, slice it into quarter-inch-thick rounds, place them on the baking tray with about an inch of space between them, and besprinkle each with the topping of your choice.  Bake for ten to 12 minutes, until they're lightly browned on the bottom.  Let sit on the tray for one to two minutes, then remove to a cooling rack.  Enjoy!

Sugar Cookies with Royal Icing and Deformity

When life hands you a sticky-ass and stubborn dough, then go to town with a sticky-ass icing and your new pastry bag. This has been the second week in a row that some sort of anarchical breeze in the air has totally upended my recipe plans, but despite their challenged appearance, these cookies are super good. The challengedness may even add to their charm. This was supposed to be a fleet of elephant- and anchor-shaped cookies that was about one-half less Fail, but the dough was a huge pain in the culo to work with, hence the easy-peasy circles.

A bag of icing and the temptation to get perverted on a blank cookie canvas can be a little pressing for those of us with a sixth-grade maturity level, but (advice) I found that images did not come out as well as designs. The splatted arachnid is maybe my favorite example of a perverted drawing gone wrong (hint: the sticky-ass icing matched my totally ass mood at the time). And if you happen to be a cake decorator or have any sort of icing prowess, shoot me an email and let’s talk about bartering baked goods for decorating skills, yes?

Legend: dots, sweet tooth, HUD logo, dotted elephant, effed up tic-tac-toe board, a splatted arachnid, fetus-elephant, more dots, phallic stripe, dots, and more dots, a bicycle!, deformed scissors/four tennis rackets

Oh hey man, your bike has some sweet geometry.

Classic Sugar Cookies
Adapted from Baked! New Frontiers in Baking

1 ¾ cup all-purpose four
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon baking power
¾ cups (1 ½ sticks) unsalted butter, softened
2 Tablespoons cold vegetable shortening (Spectrum brand makes non-hydrogenated)
2/3 cup sugar
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla

1. In a medium bowl whisk the flour, salt, and baking powder. Set aside. In a large bowl, beat the butter, shortening, and sugar until light and fluffy (about 3 minutes). Add the egg and vanilla and beat until just combined. Add the flour mixture, an mix gently until incorporated. Wrap the dough in plastic and refrigerate for at least 4 hours. (No joke, don’t skimp on this. This dough is a bastard to work with—the firmer the better.)

2. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F, and line two baking sheets with parchment. Dust work surface with flour (I found that I had to lay that flour on thick), unwrap dough and plunk it down. Roll out to ¼ inch thick. Dip your cookie cutter in flour, and use it to cut shapes out. Save the excess dough (from the outlines of the shapes), refrigerate again for about 20 minutes, roll out and go for it again. Bake the cookies for 12 minutes until they are set, but not browned (mine were fine brown). Let sit for 5 minutes before transferring to a rack to cool completely.

Royal Icing

2 cups confectioners’ sugar, sifted
2 large egg whites
2 teaspoons freshly squeezed lemon juice

1. In a large bowl, whisk together the sugar, egg whites, and lemon juice until the mixture is completely mooth. It should be the texture of glaze, so add more sugar if it’s too thin, or more lemon juice if it’s too thick. I found that I had to add a lot more sugar. If you want to dye some of the frosting for accents, just divide it into the corresponding number of bowls and dye away.

2. A great way to decorate these is to use a small tip on your pastry bag, though as you can see, having a small tip doesn’t automatically give you artistic license. Just outline the shape you want, fill it in, and hope real hard that it doesn't run everywhere and ruin your vision like what happened to my cookies.